fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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