remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
