Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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