i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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