i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
