I hope mine doesn't look like that
She even gives head with a lisp.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
