I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
false alarm, still single
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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