I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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