Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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