Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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