ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize