every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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