hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
