youre lurking in front of me
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
