I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
