Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
