We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
