Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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