someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
