Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
