how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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