I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
