I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
