Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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