I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
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