I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
