Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
