we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
