i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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