Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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