First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize