There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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