Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
