Can Purell be used as lube?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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