He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
