i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize