Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
