No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
