he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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