dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So much Jack, so little girl.
this is an emotional support booty call
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize