Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
