i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
