Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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