my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
