There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize