hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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