He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
