If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
