i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
