OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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