I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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