Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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