Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ladies don't puke and tell
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