If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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