Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
All the doctor said was why
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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