No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
