that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
