just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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