Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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