she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
