it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So much Jack, so little girl.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
