WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
