So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I want to fling myself into the sun
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
