So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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