I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
