woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
