its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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