As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
