He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
