I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think your dad took our porno
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
