it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
