For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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