Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
