Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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