gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
