So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
