the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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