i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think my moral compass just broke
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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